Days 3, 4, and 5 and Disappointment

From the title, you all have figured out that Karina is not to be our child. We won't go into details here, will just say it didn't work out and request that you all keep the little girl in your prayers. We also request you double your prayers on our behalf in hopes that our next referral proves fruitful. Since the law here states you only get three referrals, then we have only two chances left. Currently, we await the SDA (State Department of Adoptions) decision as to when our next appointment will be. We hope to find the answer out tomorrow and hope the next appointment will be early next week, though it could be late next week or even the following week or any time thereafter that the SDA decides. I'm beginning to think this country has not totally forgone some of the old Communist ways. You cannot call to see when your next appointment is; you must go in person and read the appointment list that is posted on a wall as you go up an old set of stairs. We are trying not sound too disappointed or dejected.

Luckily for us, our apartment is located within walking distance of the SDA, but it's a long walking distance. I'm sure at home for something that far away, we'd all hop in our cars and drive, especially in this weather. The weather isn't as horrible as it is sometimes in the Ukranian winter, but it's still plenty cold for me! John is always hot so he is happy in this climate. Icy spots abound as there is little cleaning/de-icing of any but the main sidewalks. You all will be proud of us in that neither of us has fallen even once! Of course, many of the tasks we must complete are farther away and require a bus (John will relate the bus story later on in the blog), a taxi, or even a train, so though we try to keep expenses down, they add up quickly. The a light snow on the ground most of the time; then when it warms up enough to melt it just a tadbiggest expense once we're here though has to be for the apartment. We may have to find a cheaper one next week, but this one is clean and nice with a separate kitchen/table/couch area as well as heat and free internet. We live for the internet because to us, it seems like our only contact with the outside world, though some of the family and friends have now figured out how to call us using pingo.com which is a cheaper route than from a home or cell phone. It is much, much cheaper to call here from the U.S. than vice versa.

Though we try to make the posts on this blog sound interesting and like we are having a good time, for those of you yet to come, we feel we must point out that it is mostly just plain old hard work to get everything done. Of course, we do eke out moments of pleasure and with our waiting time this weekend do plan to walk in the other direction to Independence Square where we will try not to get too awfully lost and do a little exploring of the city and shops.

Other items to bring when you come: clothes you can layer so you don't have to wash clothes often--they have washers here but dryers are extremely rare. At this moment we have done our first "washing" and have clothing items strewn around the apartment for them to dry. It is raining today here so we can't hang them on the line strung on the small balcony out back. Daily, I am very thankful that I purchased at Penney's some of those pants liners, similar to old fashioned long underwear but smoother. I can't emphasize enough that you need to bring those purse packs of tissues because public toilets offer no toilet paper, not that you want to use those except in dire need anyway. Sometimes I think we are living in pioneer days! Perhaps bring a deck of cards or Go Fish cards or something to help pass the time if you do end up on a train or just for a rainy evening in an apartment far from home. We taught Alla, our translator, to play Rummy last night on the train. She was a quick learner and proceeded to immediately beat us!

On Day three we had to be on the train for it to leave at 7 p.m. so we had to hire a taxi who would take Alla, us, and all our luggage to there. We had to take all our luggage because if the meeting with the child had been successful, we would have remained in the region until all of her paperwork there was completed. Needless to say, we don't just have one suitcase so each leg of our journey has required a lot of hauling suitcases here or there. Thank goodness for wheeled suitcases. Most of ours are the kind that have 360 degree wheels which means you can push them in any direction; this alone has been a lifesaver or I should say backsaver. (The picture of the two of us is of us on the train on the way to see the child--we were hopeful and happy.)

Those of you who said the train ride would be fun to start with and then not so fun were absolutely correct. It was a new experience for us both and John especially enjoyed the Harry Potterish feel of the platform, the dark train station, the tiny cabins that hold four people, etc. The 14 hour train ride was very long indeed. We had those benches that you put a thick pad on and clean sheets so we all tried to sleep, but that night just happened to be the end of the old Ukranian New Year so people were in a partying mood, and the loudest ones just had to be located right next to our cabin! John slept fairly well once the train cooled down a little; Alla and I might have gotten one hour of sleep that first night. (Picture of inside of train.)

Then, after we arrived in Luganska Region, we got a driver to take us to the Director of Children's Services who filled out the necessary paperwork and accompanied us to the orphanage. When we first went into the office of the orphanage director, he started almost shouting at Alla. She remained quite calm, and of course we didn't know what was being said. Later Alla explained that the director was upset that SDA had sent four different families recently to look at the little girl and he didn't want her disturbed by this. I gather she was told we had come because of the celebration of the Old New Year so she wouldn't think anything about our visit. Ten minutes or so into our visit, they did bring in the little girl whom we of course took candy and a small gift to. A few minutes after they took the girl back to her class and after the translator already told him we were not interested, the director, who was much more cordial, started questioning us about the size of our house, asking if we had a yard, how many cars we owned, etc.

Then when he asked about occupations and found out we were both teachers, he became extremely interested in us. He was insistent on showing us both the school and the place where the children slept. I would call it a dorm, but they used the phrasing I just used. Having never seen a Ukranian orphanage, I have nothing to compare this one to, but from all I've read from others would say this is probably one of the better ones. The director was very, very proud of his school. Alla tried to discourage him from taking us all over the place there, but there was not polite way to refuse. Actually, I found the tour very interesting. When the director walked into a classroom, the students immediately arose. The director spoke "Good Morning" to them and they responded in kind. He then told them to sit down. The children did not seem afraid of him, but they were all very quiet and respectful. Their class sizes were small. I think we were in a second, sixth, seventh, gym, physics, and English class. The director boasted in their school the children start English in second grade although the country does not require it until middle school. He was also very proud to show us their computer lab. Though it did not have a classroom full of computers like our school does, it did have modern ones with flat screen monitors. The school also had had some remodeling of late, paid for by a state grant he said; the biggest change he told us was a new roof and all new windows. Those windows were enormous by size compared to most school windows. It was a very old building and the windows were probably at least 10 feet by 12 feet wide in most rooms! At least the children were exposed to sunlight that way. The curtains were pretty but not thick meaning they didn't keep the sun from entering. It was kind of amusing in that every different classroom or hallway we entered, the director again pointed out the windows and how nice they were. The class sizes were small there; we think 15 is the most we saw in any classroom. The sad part is was there were some very obviously lively, healthy children there and you'd want to just take some home with you, but that is far from how the process here works. I left out that there was an actual good sized gym as well as a small auditorium with a stage. The one part that dismayed me was that though the clothes the kids had on looked okay, it seemed most had on shoes that were two sizes too small. : (

The director also insisted we tour the sleeping quarters and cafeteria. The dorm like rooms had about seven or eight twin beds each; the rooms were extremely large. The cafeteria was not huge. It looked like they would have porridge and bread for lunch; I couldn't see any farther back than the big pots cooking on the stove. We were invited to stay for lunch which of course we declined, although the smell was appetizing in the room.

From John:

Charlene is right about the red tape and officialness that is in everything here. Though people are civil and polite to one another, there is almost a caste system in effect. There is a deference given to people with better jobs and/or more education. You have heard of the expression of dotting your i's and crossing your t's, it's true here.

Regarding the bus ride, we had to ride a bus to meet up with our translator because I misplaced my passport. That means weWe connected and went to the American Embassy. We went through more security and scutiny there than any other place. We just got there before closing and the staff were very helpful and tried to fix me an emergency passport. We waited an hour before they told us anything, getting very nervous that we wouldn't have time to get our things and get to the train on time, plus, they hadn't let Alla come in with us at our Embassy and we feared she'd had to stand outside the whole time freezing (she had). But all the computers at the U.S. Embassy and across the world just happened to be down they finally came out and told us. So I'll have to pick it up in two weeks since it no longer was an emergency. But they gave me documentation to use for now. Guess this was my way of livening things up for Charlene. But it is a strange feeling to be here without a passport or any documentation. You have to present ID everywhere. Later on, guess what I found underneath some papers in my suitcase? Yep. But it's invalid now, though it will do to get me into buildings, etc., plus I still have the official letter the Embassy gave me.

Coming back from the orphanage was sad and also very tiring. We were already tired from a 14 hour train ride there. And tired from the stress of preparing and meeting the people at the orphanage. The three of us passed some time by playing cards. Our translator caught on fast and had beginner's luck.

We arrived back in Kiev at about 5:40 AM in a cold rain. Let me point out that there is no real station area. Only concrete walkways between the tracks and you had to cross active tracks to get to the actual station. We were lucky that the translator's co-worker met us with another person to help us with the luggage, for a fee of course. There were a lot of tracks and stairs up and down to get out to the parking lot.

I was so glad to get back to the apartment, a shower, and to not be swaying and even an hour or two of sleep.

As Charlene said, today was mostly spent in getting paperwork notarized and submitted to SD. By the way, a notary here is sort of like a cross between our notary and a bureaucratic government office, and they have to have a college degree unlike ours.

Later today we went food shopping, to the post office, and to eat. None of these places are exactly like ours, but they were fun to visit. The post office was so different from ours. One part was very governmental and you had to go through a security point to enter. The rest was full of little shops which sold a variety of items.

One interesting thing I noticed was that when you used an underground walkway to cross under a big street, there were shops under there, almost like a mall of three floors and a food court. (Picture is of John beside money exchange window where we got some Grivna for U.S $. Right now the exhange rate is in our favor and Alla works hard to make sure we get the best rate as every bank seems to have a different one posted.)

Oh, as a last note the orphanage director offered me a job. I don't think he was kidding, because he didn't strike me as the sort to have a sense of humor. I thanked him and declined.

Some random thoughts: The orphanage director was very pleased with us and told us he would help us adopt a child from his orphanage if we could find a healthy one at the SDA. We pray that be the end result of course--a fairly healthy child eager to be adopted by us. Why the SDA showed us files of those who don't want to be adopted or whose director would stand in the way is curious, except it makes it look like they have shown us a lot more files I guess.

And so life goes here in Kiev, Ukraine. Comments and e-mails welcome.

Charlene & John